I’ve recently developed a theory. A theory that could be exceedingly obvious yet overlooked. My theory deems that whatever a person does, from the way he looks, his facial expressions, his body language, his behaviour and actions are all dependent on the state of his mind at that point in time. The very fundamental truths are all known by everyone – a person smiles when he is happy, laughs when he finds something hilarious, frowns when he disagrees with what he sees, cries when he is sad. You may ask, “That’s not reflective of his state of his mind, what if he forces a smile even when he is quite sad?”. Then if you delve deeper, you will realise that by putting on a false pretence, the state of that person’s mind is already unstable. And thus, the action of pretending to smile reveals the poor state of mind.
A middle-aged man may have been identified as going through a “mid-life crisis”, when he makes a sudden change to his daily routine – perhaps by going to the gym, buying a new red-coloured sports car, changes his mobile phone every now and then. He may go through a phase where he takes pride in meeting up with younger women and having a fling or two. Others may similarly bury themselves at work or shut themselves off from old friends altogether. The actions ring alarms that tell you things are happening in that brain at those points in time.
A good friend of mine appears to have a good handle on his life to people who do not know him. He (until recently) goes about his work with zest, seems almost too chirpy at times and dresses well at work. Yet he stays awake at night, seemingly unable to sleep even when he is tired. He stresses over little details at work, hoping to get the perfect solution or to deliver his work which is “up-to-standards”. He gets ill almost every other week, partly due to a chronic medical history, and mostly due to the lack of rest. He is unable to get a grasp on his own emotional battles, particularly where relationships are concerned. He indulges himself with substitutes or luxuries, such as fast cars, alcohol or cigarettes, possibly as means to keep his mind occupied. To even the casual observer in the know, it is not difficult to see that his state of mind is completely in turmoil.
I do not profess to be an authority on behaviour science, far from it, I have never quite picked up any books related to the subject. Nevertheless, I always believe that our brains consist of the conscious part and the subconscious part. I think where behaviour related to the state of mind is concerned, the subconscious side (the Dark side?) takes control more often than we realize. It is also my belief that it is the more honest part of our brains. The Free Dictionary defines “the state of mind” to be “a temporary psychological state”. A temporary state until what? I suppose it is until the root cause of it either gets forgotten, no longer becomes a concern, or it gets replaced by something else that takes precedence at that point in time.
I remember this study made in the UK back in October 2004 where volunteers were made to go through the famous Coke versus Pepsi test. The lead researcher Dr. Read Montague made this observation, “We live in a sea of cultural images…Those messages have insinuated themselves in our nervous system.”. Now, if the subsconscious mind is so powerful that it dictates our very actions, if someone were to unlock those secrets one day, for instance by hypnosis or “implicit suggestions”, are we not at risk of being manipulated? Perhaps unknowingly, we already have been manipulated all along, and we wouldn’t know it. Think about that.
Now back to my friend in trouble. I wonder if it is possible at all for him to ever get out of his “mind trap”, to see things beyond his self-imposed vision of how things should work. I have always insisted that he throw caution to the wind, look within himself and have a complete change of his mindset. I advised him to let down his guards, relax a little and move on with new things to occupy his time. Although he insists that he is trying, after these past few years, I see him still running around in circles. Yet perhaps, in my pursuit to help my friend rid himself of his wordly burdens, it is also my subsconscious mind telling me that I should instead be the one making changes. Perhaps, as a reflection of my advice to him, the true meaning lies in the fact that I have skeletons in the closet that need ridding of.
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